Enjoyed 'The White Lotus'? What vacations teach us about relationships

If you’ve seen HBO’s “The White Lotus,” you know that vacations go wrong. Over cocktails on the beach, away from the monotony of work and kids, you and your partner may realize what suits you best – or least – for each other.

“You definitely learn some nuances or quirks about someone’s personality when you travel with them,” says Moe Ari Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist.

Does this mean that going on holiday together can end a relationship for good?

Vacations can certainly teach us a lot about relationships, experts say, but they don’t necessarily make or break relationships in and of themselves.

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Different people have different expectations. “Some want to relax and unwind,” says Laura Petiford, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “Others seek adventure, learning or discovery or a combination of these things.”
Our partners may have hidden parts of their personalities, but that’s not always nefarious. “Think of the new things you learn as information,” says Brown. “But try not to judge those things.”
That said, definitely pay attention to your partner’s behavior. “When traveling with a partner, I pay close attention to how they treat employees such as hotel staff, vendors, and tour guides,” says Melody Li, LMFT and founder of Inclusive Therapists. “Their attitudes toward people who work for travelers provide great insight into their values, especially since travel is a privilege and a luxury that many cannot afford.”

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Are vacations actually a ‘test’ for relationships?

Yes and no.

“There’s more at stake because vacations often involve an investment of time and money and are usually a distance from home, putting both parties out of their element for a period of time in a shared space,” says Petiford. “There are usually high expectations around vacations. And too often it’s assumed that the other person is on the same wavelength, which can be problematic.”

But don’t necessarily think of vacations as pressure cookers or all the answers to relationship health.

“Moving in together may seem like a pressure cooker, while vacation is like cooking rice in a pot,” says Brown.

That said, “if you’re not already living together, this could be an abrupt change,” adds Petiford.

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What should couples do to prepare for a vacation

Communicate, communicate, communicate. “Try to understand as best you can what your partner is looking for in the experience and make sure to express what you want from the time away,” says Petiford. Brown recommends planning an itinerary together and working through any issues that may arise ahead of time, such as deciding on transportation and meals.
Remember that a vacation can’t fix what doesn’t work at home. “Couples can have a great time while traveling, and feel a harder impact if they relapse into a slump when they return home,” says Li. “Vacations can be the icing on the cake of a relationship if the foundations of connection and intimacy are consistently maintained.”
Save some stuff for when you get home. It may be best to put your concerns aside for when you return, but if you do, be specific. “Once you’re clear, have a conversation with your partner and share how you felt when a specific behavior occurred, making sure to ask what you need instead,” says Petiford. “We’re much more likely to have our needs met if we ask for what we want.”
It’s okay to be nervous… “I want to remind anyone traveling for the first time with their partner that it’s the first time and there can be so much anxiety, so much expectation, so much news when you go on vacation for the first time. , a lot of pressure to make it perfect to expire,” says Brown.
… But don’t let it ruin the potential for fun. Adds Brown, “Often the pressure of that can get to us and we appear more anxious or fearful than we would have liked.”

Basically, be yourself so you can go home with a happy, healthy relationship — and hopefully a tan.

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Enjoyed ‘The White Lotus’? What vacations teach us about relationships

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कैसा रहेगा दिन जानिए आपके प्रेम जीवन और वैवाहिक जीवन के लिए. – Rashifal Today

इन 6 राशियों का करियर के मामले में सप्ताह का पहला दिन रहेगा लकी वृषभ मिथुन समेत जानें अपनी आर्थिक स्थिति. – Rashifal Today

इन राशियों को भी मिलेगा आज लाभ शिवजी की कृपा से कर्क तुला सहित. – Rashifal Today

Creta को मार्केट से भगा देगा Alto 800 का Luxury लुक, शानदार फीचर्स के साथ 40kmpl का तगड़ा माइलेज, कम कीमत मौज ही मौज

अपने सपनो का आशियाना बनाना हुआ और भी आसान, सातवे आसमान से औंधे मुँह गिरे सरिया सीमेंट के दाम

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कैसा रहेगा दिन जानिए आपके प्रेम जीवन और वैवाहिक जीवन के लिए. – Rashifal Today

इन 6 राशियों का करियर के मामले में सप्ताह का पहला दिन रहेगा लकी वृषभ मिथुन समेत जानें अपनी आर्थिक स्थिति. – Rashifal Today

इन राशियों को भी मिलेगा आज लाभ शिवजी की कृपा से कर्क तुला सहित. – Rashifal Today

Creta को मार्केट से भगा देगा Alto 800 का Luxury लुक, शानदार फीचर्स के साथ 40kmpl का तगड़ा माइलेज, कम कीमत मौज ही मौज

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कैसा रहेगा दिन जानिए आपके प्रेम जीवन और वैवाहिक जीवन के लिए. – Rashifal Today

इन 6 राशियों का करियर के मामले में सप्ताह का पहला दिन रहेगा लकी वृषभ मिथुन समेत जानें अपनी आर्थिक स्थिति. – Rashifal Today

इन राशियों को भी मिलेगा आज लाभ शिवजी की कृपा से कर्क तुला सहित. – Rashifal Today

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Enjoyed ‘The White Lotus’? What vacations teach us about relationships

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